


I'm Sorry (Don't Be)

by wonker8



Series: Don't Hurt Me [6]
Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: "The Other Guy won't let me die.", I might have been inspired by Banner's quote, I'm sorry if this is bad, M/M, More apologizes!, so much for finished series, think of this as an epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonker8/pseuds/wonker8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 people whose apologies were unnecessary and the 1 that would have to work forever for forgiveness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry (Don't Be)

**Author's Note:**

> So somehow, I ended up writing one more short for it. This is pretty much the real last part. I promise to stop after this!

1.  
Clint knew that Natasha would do it first. Of course she would. She was practically his best friend. Practically because assassins-for-hire really shouldn’t be called something so cutesy as best friends. But they were the closest to a friend in this shadow of a world they lived in, and Clint knew without a doubt that she would be the first to find him and apologize.  
  
He was actually wrong.  
  
Thor swept him into a bone-crushing hug and bellowed, “My dearest Hawk! Please accept my sincerest apologies!”  
  
It made him laugh, or at least it would have if his lungs could get access to air. He patted the God’s arm awkwardly, trying to get him to ease up. Thor must have gotten the message, because he released Clint from the death grip and instead just squeezed Clint’s shoulders reassuringly.  
  
“We have judged you harshly,” Thor said. “And we do not deserve your kindness nor forgiveness. But would you grace us with your bow and arrows?”  
  
Clint smiled sadly at that. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said softly. “SHIELD’s still looking for me. It’s best if I stay low key.”  
  
Thor looked disappointed, but he wasn’t ready to give up. “Then a spar?” he asked. “Just a small one, like we used to.”  
  
It wasn’t like they had anything to lose. Clint nodded in agreement.  
*  
A good two hours later, the two were lying on the grass, both exhausted from their small sparring in the middle of a forest that Thor flew them to. It was nice to work out again. Clint knew that he was out of practice, but he had been using his muscles daily at the construction site, and his skills and reflexes still served him well. He knew Thor hadn’t gone easy on him either, especially judging from the way the Thunderer was gasping for breath slightly.  
  
“That… was fun,” Clint told him in between breaths.  
  
Thor just let out a loud laugh. “Anytime, my brother!”  
  
The ex-SHIELD agent sighed softly. “It’s weird,” he admitted. “All of you guys barging into my work like this… All of you just showing up, I suppose… Trying to _listen,_ trying to understand. It’s kind of nice.”  
  
“We should have done so from the beginning,” the Thunder God said gravely. “That was our greatest sin.”  
  
“There’s no sin,” Clint insisted. “None of you were at fault. You guys were just caught up in the struggle, alright? No sin. No fault. Don’t blame yourself.”  
  
“Despite that, I still seek your forgiveness.”  
  
The archer rolled his eyes. “Fine! Fine! I get it. You have it, alright? I forgive you. I forgave every one of you long time ago.”  
  
Clint did not see Thor’s sad look at that. And if Thor asked him for spars more often, then Clint didn’t question it.  
  
2.  
Natasha appeared at night, when Clint was just about to fall asleep on his bed. She stood silently by the bedside and waited, knowing that the ex-SHIELD agent would acknowledge her presence when he wants to. She waited for five minutes before Clint lost his patience and spoke up.  
  
“Before you say anything, I just wanted to let you know that you have nothing to apologize for.”  
  
She wasn’t usually prone to violent reactions, but that remark earned Clint a smack to the back of his head. He grumbled under his breath and rubbed his head while turning to face her.  
  
“What?” he demanded.  
  
“You should hate me,” she said, a strange tone in her voice that he wasn’t accustomed to hearing. “I should have trusted you over anyone else. I should have listened to you. I should have-”  
  
“Ah, shucks. Don’t do that to yourself. ‘Tash, you did what you thought was right. There’s no hate in that. All the evidence was stacked against me, thanks to Wade. You did nothing wrong.”  
  
Natasha shook her head. “That’s not good enough. You save my life, Clint. You saved me, and this is how I’m repaying you? I should have left with you. I should always stand by your side! Clint, I _betrayed_ you!”  
  
“No such thing. You did nothing wrong.”  
  
“You know that’s a lie.”  
  
“And I know you’re just torturing yourself with this. ‘Tasha, you’ve known me for a good chunk longer than the rest of the Avengers. You know what I’m capable of and what I can withstand. A break-up really is nothing but a blimp on the life that is Clint Barton. You know that.”  
  
Natasha looked down at the ground. “When you asked me to come with you to SHIELD, you never told me you’ll leave alone. You never told me what to do, how to survive, when you’re not there waiting for me to come home. You never taught me how to handle the guilt. No one did.”  
  
“That’s because you’re supposed to teach yourself,” Clint told her gently. He took her hands in his own and held them. “You’ve done well with the Avengers, you know. You’re no longer a mindless killer, ‘Tasha. You don’t live for the next mission. You’ve grown. You’ve learned. You don’t need me to hold your hands anymore.”  
  
With those words, he slowly released her hands. She let them fall lifelessly back by her sides.  
  
“I want to leave them,” she whispered hoarsely.  
  
“But you won’t.”  
  
Angry green eyes glared him down. “What makes you so sure?” she demanded.  
  
“Because you love them, too. You’ll be miserable if you left.”  
  
She shook her head again, furious by his words. “Fuck that! I should be by your side! Avengers or not, I should have torn them apart for what they did! I should have killed fucking Banner! I shouldn’t have left you to be alone. I should have followed you… Why didn’t you leave any trail for me to follow?”  
  
“You can’t follow me forever,” Clint said gently. “You can’t work forever to pay off a debt you don’t owe. Natasha, you’ve done nothing wrong. There’s nothing to apologize for. There’s no reason why you should leave the Avengers. Stay, ‘Tash.”  
  
Her eyes shone with freezing anger and her lips tightened, but she didn’t say anything more. She didn’t tell him that she would never walk away. That she would never abandon Clint again. She didn’t mention that she would never be able to pay the debt. She also didn’t mention the real reason why she decided to listen to him and stay with the Avengers.   
  
It was to run interference should SHIELD get to close. Or should something like this happen again. She would prevent both from happening.   
  
It was the least she could do for him.  
  
3.  
Phil Coulson was a man of dignity. It was something that everyone knew. He was a man of dignity and calm and badassery. Even in the scariest situation, he stood without breaking a single sweat. After all, he was the one who calmly told Loki off while he was bleeding from a chest wound. After all, he was the one who took care of Tony Stark when normal people would have just thrown their hands up in the air and given up.  
  
After all, he willingly stood by Clint Barton’s side… at least for a while.  
  
It was all those reasons as well as actual experience that clearly informed Clint that what was in front of him just wasn’t possible. What he was seeing with his better-than-perfect-vision just wasn’t possible.  
  
Clint stared.  
  
“Uh…” was the most intelligent thing that blurted out of his mouth at the sight before him.  
  
Phil Coulson did not say any word. He just stayed in the same position. His head was down, giving Clint a clear view of the receding hairline that the archer knew was partly his fault. Phil’s hands and knees were on the ground, and Clint was certain that he had somehow been transported in to another world. But perhaps what scared the archer the most was, without a doubt, the fact that Phil’s forehead was touching the ground. In other words, Phil Coulson, the Agent, the Avengers Babysitter, the SHIELD liaison, the perfect fucking suit…  
  
Phil Coulson was kneeling in front of Clint Barton, begging for forgiveness.  
  
“Dude, it’s okay,” Clint said finally, slipping into the Gus persona. “Just… get up, alright?”  
  
The Agent did not move. He just continued to stay in the kneeling position, his forehead pressed against the cold ground. The archer gulped.  
  
“No, seriously. Stop this. C’mon, you’re embarrassing yourself! Get up!”  
  
Phil didn’t budge.   
  
Clint gave up. He sighed softly. “Look, I get why you did what you did. There’s nothing to apologize for! You were following protocol and using reason. Wade already explained all of it to me. You don’t have to… _kneel_. Fuck, Phil, just… get up!”  
  
There was a small pause as Clint held his breath, waiting for Phil to move. Then the agent got up slowly, knowing that this didn’t solve anything. He still had a lot to make up for, and this was just the beginning. But Clint looked more relaxed now that Phil wasn’t on the ground, and the archer was going off with the rest of his day, and Phil really didn’t have the heart to follow him around with apologies. So instead, he aided Natasha.  
  
4.  
“I make a terrible leader,” Steve said one day while the two were preparing dinner together. “I’m supposed to listen to everyone. I’m supposed to protect every one of you. But instead I… Can you ever forgive me?”  
  
“Wha-?! Cap! You did absolutely nothing wrong. There’s no need to forgive you!”  
  
Steve turned to give Clint a look; it was almost enough to shut the archer’s mouth. Almost.  
  
“Dude, seriously. It’s fine. You reacted to the information that was given to you.”  
  
“I should have fought for all the information,” Steve insisted. “I could have been a better leader! … No. I could have been a better friend.”  
  
Clint sighed softly and patted Steve’s shoulder. “You are a great friend, Steve,” he assured the soldier. “And even better leader. Don’t put the blame on yourself. Bruce and I were idiots and all of you suffered for it. There’s nothing more to say to that.”  
  
“Can you forgive me?” Steve repeated, looking into Clint’s eyes.  
  
“Honestly? I’ve long forgiven you.”  
  
Steve’s eyes glistened with gratitude, but he knew that this couldn’t be all. He had to work for it. After all, he had committed one of the worst sins as a team leader. He wasn’t going to let this be all.   
  
If Clint caught the way Steve pushed harder for team bonding or if Steve punished himself harder than usual at the gym, then the archer didn’t say anything.  
  
5.  
Clint blinked and stared at the bow and arrows on the table.  
  
“The hell?” he asked.  
  
Tony shrugged, looking like he hadn’t been sleeping in days. Clint would have made fun of him for it, except the billionaire looked like he was going to break any second now.  
  
“I had time,” he said.  
  
He didn’t have to say the words for Clint to understand. He didn’t have to say anything for Clint to see the guilt. The archer sighed.  
  
“Hey, don’t do this to yourself,” he said gently as he pulled Tony down on the couch. “You and Bruce are friends. Of course, you’ll stand with him.”  
  
Tony stared at his hands, not answering. It was odd. A silent Tony Stark. What would Phil say to that?  
  
“You did what I would have done if I was in your shoes,” Clint admitted. “You don’t need to make things for me. Especially not archery things. I can’t fight, you know that. I can’t go with you to battle. When the world needs the Avengers, you guys have to go without me.”  
  
“But why?!” Tony demanded, his sudden outburst pushed Clint back a little. “You should be mad at us! You should have kicked us out of your small apartment! You have every right to be resentful, and all you do is let us be here! What the hell is the matter with you, Barton? Why the hell aren’t you getting angry?”  
  
Clint stared at Tony with a careful look. He considered what Tony said seriously before replying. “For one thing, I knew what I would be getting into when Deadpool and I robbed the bank. I was prepared for that. And I knew that he couldn’t hide me forever from you. I’m honestly more surprised by the fact that you guys wanted to hear my side of things. And that you want to apologize. You guys don’t have to, you know that, right?”  
  
“Of course we do!” Tony exclaimed. “We _hurt_ you! We had no right to throw those accusations around! We… _I_ shouldn’t have said what I did! I should have… should have…”  
  
Clint patted Tony on the head and pulled the billionaire down until he was lying on the couch.  
  
“Your sleep-deprived mind can’t think properly,” the ex-agent said with an amused smile. “Rest, Tony. You didn’t do anything wrong. But if you really want it, of course I’ll forgive you. Sleep and get your brain back, why don’t you?”  
  
Tony mumbled something incoherent and Clint left, laughing as he did. The billionaire stared at his back as he walked out of the room. That wasn’t how he imagined the conversation to go. And Clint could say all he wants that there was nothing wrong, but Tony knew better.  
  
So he invented. He created small gadgets and gizmos that could be used around the apartment. He didn’t know how else to apologize.   
  
+1.  
“Avengers assemble!” Steve shouted as he led the group in a battle against Doombots.  
  
It was a normal battle like always. They fought against the Doombots before, and they knew how to handle themselves. Hulk smashed them, Thor hammered them, Ironman blasted them, Black Widow shot them, and Captain America smacked them with his shield. They were back in New York; Coulson had personally driven the Quinjet from Clint’s place to here once they were called in.  
  
Fury looked annoyed as to why the Avengers weren’t at the Avengers Tower, but he didn’t ask anything. Instead, he looked at the team with too knowing of an eye and Steve wondered if Fury suspected.  
  
Once the formality of turning in mission reports and debriefings were over, the Avengers piled into the Quinjet for the ride home.  
  
“Wait, where’s Bruce?” Tony asked as he looked around the jet.  
  
“He’s not with you?” Steve asked, his voice suddenly alarmed.   
  
“We lost the Doctor?” Thor asked, looking much upset by this news.  
  
“Wasn’t me,” was the unhelpful reply from Natasha.  
  
“Where was the last time anyone saw him?” Coulson asked as he began to rub his temples.  
  
Then Bruce walked into the jet, one hand carrying a basket of Sour Patch Kids and other assorted gummy product, and the other hand carrying a bouquet of purple hyacinth. He did not say anything. Instead, he just walked to an empty seat and sat down.  
  
The rest stared at Bruce for a bit before glancing at one another. No one said anything for the whole ride back.  
*  
“Brother Hawk! We’ve returned!” Thor shouted as he greeted Clint with yet another bone-crushing hug.  
  
“Air! Thor, I need air!”  
  
Luckily, the God of Thunder released Clint quickly at that. The two grinned at one another before Clint turned to the rest of the group.  
  
“How were things?” he asked, trying hard not to show them how much he missed going on missions with them.  
  
“Easy,” Phil said. He looked like he wanted to add more, but then seemed to have changed his mind.  
  
“The usual,” Natasha agreed. “Would have loved to have some trick arrows backing me.”  
  
“We miss you on the field,” Steve affirmed. “But this one was very basic.”  
  
“I bet I would have blasted more than you,” Tony bragged.   
  
There was longing in Clint’s eyes, but no one brought it up. Then the archer shook his head and glanced around with a frown. “Wait, where’s Bruce? Did you guys leave him…?”  
  
“Check the Quinjet,” his team informed him before they went off into the room. “There’s a surprise for you.”  
*  
On the driver’s seat of the Quinjet was a strategically placed bouquet of flowers. On all the other seats were various gummy products that Clint and Bruce had tried to eat long time ago. There was no Bruce Banner there. There was also no sign of notes at all. No notes that had become habitual to find all around the house and his things. No notes with the simple message of “I’m sorry” or “I love you.”  
  
“This guy is starting to drive me crazy,” said a voice behind Clint.  
  
The archer rolled his eyes and turned to the entryway of the Quinjet. “That’s nothing new, now is it?” he reminded Wade.  
  
Wade shrugged. “That maybe so, but you have to admit that this is kind of pushing it.”  
  
“I think it’s kind of sweet, actually.”  
  
Wade’s face became carefully guarded. “So what? You’re going to forgive him? Because he got you bunch of gummies and flowers? I got you an exotic bow handcrafted by Native Americans and you didn’t even kiss me thank you!”  
  
“Wade, you stole that bow from a museum.”  
  
“And boy, was _that_ a pain! All Banner did was walk into a shop and buy those things for you!”  
  
Clint chuckled at that. “Yes, Wade. You can be sweet without doing something illegal.”  
  
“But where’s the fun in that?” Wade asked innocently. Then his voice took on a more serious tone. “Well, are you?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Going to forgive him, I mean. Are you?”  
  
Clint thought carefully for a while. He looked around at the Quinjet. He reviewed all of his memories of Bruce Banner and their time together. Then he glanced back at Wade and smiled.  
  
“No. I don’t think I could ever.”  
  
“But you love him,” Wade pointed out bitterly.  
  
“Love doesn’t mean forgiveness, Wade.”  
  
“You should just get together with me. It’d make more readers happy, you know.”  
  
Clint shook his head, the smile gentle and kind. “But you won’t be happy.”  
  
Wade watched silently as Clint gathered the gummies from each of the seat and took the flowers. He continued to watch Clint until after the archer walked out of the Quinjet. Then he moved to open one of the storage compartments of the Quinjet.   
  
Bruce Banner looked up at him, looking a bit surprised at being found.  
  
“There you have it,” Wade said. “You can apologize forever, but he will never forgive you.”  
  
Bruce barely moved his shoulders, the compartment constricting his movement. “I’ve learned my lesson, if that’s what you mean,” the doctor said calmly. “I’m not going to let him go this time.”  
  
Wade looked at Bruce. Then as if giving permission, he nodded once. “I’m going to kill you for sure this time if you fail, readers be damned.”  
  
Then he was gone, leaving Bruce alone to try to get out of the compartment.   
  
“You won’t get the chance to,” the doctor mumbled quietly under his breath. “The Other Guy would kill me first.


End file.
